Somebody Call the Wambulance! Google, the search engine giant that took in nearly $30 billion last year, just can’t help casting itself as a victim in the ongoing patents wars. Whatever the merits of its claims regarding anti-competitive behavior waged by Apple, Microsoft, Oracle and others in joining forces against Google to gobble up valuable mobile device patents that could weaken Android, Google came off as whining. Worse, David Drummond, Google Senior Vice President and Chief Legal Officer, handed Microsoft ammunition, which the Redmond computer giant gleefully capitalized on in a series of Twitter taunts lodged against Google. The back and forth between the two tech titans was pretty entertaining and it may not be over yet. Apple and Oracle have yet to respond to being called out by Drummond for engaging in “a hostile, organized campaign against Android.”

TDrummond’s Rant 

To bring you up to speed, Drummond posted a long rant on the official Google blog, “When patents attack Android,” calling out its rivals by name, accusing them of using “bogus patents,” to “strangle” its Android mobile platform. ”I have worked in the tech sector for over two decades. Microsoft and Apple have always been at each other’s throats, so when they get into bed together you have to start wondering what’s going on,” lamented Drummond.

TMutually Assured Destruction

What exactly is going on? Apple is in the process of waging warfare against Android mobile device makers, by using its impressive cache of patents to file patent infringement lawsuits. Apple is determined to protect the innovative multitouch designs created for the iPhone. Additionally, Apple, Microsoft, Oracle, RIM and other companies are engaging in a patent buying frenzy to supplement their already impressive war chest of mobile device patents. With the smartphone market heating up, patents are becoming valuable commodities, as companies race to grab a piece of the pie and the lawsuits start flying. Companies use patents to defend against infringement lawsuits, employing a strategy of mutually assured destruction.

Unfortunately, Google does not have the patent firepower to stave off an infringement suit. And the search engine giant has been unable to succeed in the patent bidding free-for-alls. Google passed on an opportunity to purchase thousands of Novell patents in April. A group led by Apple and Microsoft grabbed the patents for $450 million. Another group, headed by Apple and Microsoft, outbid Google in the auction of Nortel patents. This series of events left Google in a weak position. Hence, the very public appeal on its blog.

TThe Twitter ‘Gotcha’ War

Soon after Drummond posted his whiny missive, Microsoft fired back by pointing out that the Google SVP neglected to mention that Google was invited to join Microsoft’s group to purchase the Novell patents. Drummond complained in his post that Microsoft and Apple were “banding together” to keep the patents out of Google’s hands.

TMicrosoft General Counsel Brad Smith, tweeted in response:

“Google says we bought Novell patents to keep them from Google. Really? We asked them to bid jointly with us. They said no.

Microsoft Head of Communications Frank Shaw piled on some more, by linking to an email from Google SVP and General Counsel Kent Walker saying no to the Novell offer:

Free advice for David Drummond – next time check with Kent Walker before you blog. ”

TOuch!

Drumond responded by updating his original blog rant to charge Microsoft with playing the “gotcha” game. Drummond claimed Microsoft’s Novell offer was a trap that Google was too smart to fall for. Drummond wrote, “It’s not surprising that Microsoft would want to divert attention by pushing a false “gotcha!” He reasoned that if Microsoft, Apple and others owned the same patents along with Google, then Google would be barred from using them to defend Android. Good point, but not mentioning the offer in his narrative makes him sound disingenuous.

Microsoft wasn’t finished with Google. Frank Shaw wasn’t buying it, accusing Google of hypocrisy:

“Hello again David Drummond. This is going to take a few tweets, so here we go. Let’s look at what Google does not dispute in their reply.

We offered Google the opportunity to bid with us to buy the Novell patents; they said no.

Why? BECAUSE they wanted to buy something that they could use to assert against someone else.

SO partnering with others & reducing patent liability across industry is not something they wanted to help do.”

Google knows it took its eye off the ball in failing to beef up its arsenal of patents to protect Android and now the company is paying for it.